"Perfectionism is slow death." Hugh Prather

Do you believe that perfection will make you happy? Do you subject others to your ridiculous standards? Do you "do nothing" because it won't be perfect? This blog is in dedication to the ridiculous lengths I go to in search for perfection, and the insanity I encounter along the way.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"Save the Date" Handbook

This entry should be filed under.....printables.  As in, your significant other should get a copy 'cuz I know there is not a man out there reading this peri menopausal blog.  Ladies, help your man out.  This is a long hand Go To Guide.

I have spent the last 2 days trying to figure out how to embed a document and if I wait any longer, I won't be posting for awhile.  So I will have to wait to post an attachment to this blog.  I did it!!!  Click on  Love Language Gift Guide for your own downloaded copy.

This little labor of love was born out of a passive/aggressive encounter with my hubby over Valentine's.  I say "I don't care", when really I do, but being the literal male that he is, he takes that at face value.  And this guy is as sentimental as they come!  It all worked out in the end when I was able to confess, but it got me thinking...

Men, if there are words in the little blocks on your calendar, it is officially a holiday.  And these are the important ones to remember:

Feb 14 Valentine's Day: Forget your dead president's, this is the important one
May 8 Mother's Day: If there are children
Dec 25 Christmas: Unless you are Jewish, then you had better really gear up cause it's something like, 7 days worth
(Fill in the date) Birthday: Barring she doesn't have a pulse
Anniversary: She will want a remembrance of the day she labored over for however long you drug your feet.  If you are still dragging your feet, I advise she wad this up, throw it at you, and get on with her life.
I am going to save you the dime and time of getting the book and let you know that there are 5 love languages.  Because when it comes time to making the effort, you want to make it count.  Not all "gifts" are equal!  They are: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service

The following is 
1. Que's for "what your significant other's language is"
2. Suggestions to incorporate them into a holiday.  The key indicator is what SHE is most often doing for YOU (and vice versa!).  This is most likely the thing she herself would appreciate:
Physical Touch: (Hint) She is clingy, she complains that you never touch her (hey, that was easy!) She used to touch you all the time and now she never touches you (but only if she USED to touch you all the time
  • Get her a massage, or plan some time where you can create a "mood" and give her a massage and EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN
  • Hold her hand
  • Cuddle (this word creeps me out as it is not my love language) while you are at the movie or wherever you are taking her 
  • Do something physical with her (NON SEXUAL) like take a dance lesson (country bars have them all the time)
Words of Affirmation:  (Hint) She knows how to give a compliment, she is encouraging, she sends you little notes with kind words, she used to do all these things and now when you come around she rolls her eyes (but only if she USED to do all those thing)
  • Get a card from Blue Mountain, they say all the things I am sure you would mean but don't have the words to say
Quality Time:  (Hint) She complains you never spend time together anymore (anything she complains about is a good indication of what her love language is - so instead of holding a grudge, take notes), when she makes plans, it is thought out and may sometimes be elaborate, or at the very least, thoughtful.  Warning: This gifting may require extra dates - As this can tend to be a celebratory, making memories language.  You may not be expected to produce on these holidays, you will be expected to participate: New Year's,  Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day.  You may get to opt out of Birthday sometimes after she hits 40, as she may prefer to spend quality time with friends!
  • Anything involving getting in the car together
  • Take off your "fix it" hat and put on the "it's going to be ok" hat and allow her to vomit on       you.  You are allowed to tune this out, if you have the capability of interjecting at the right   moments "it's going to be ok"
  • Take her shopping and don't complain
  • Engage in one of her activities, as long as it is not the annual trip to the Precious Moments Museum because she is a collector.  That is an appropriate boundary.  Take in something local - farmer's market, outdoor concert, antique show
Gifts:  (Hint) She is in the habit of buying you little cuddly teddy bears, she gets excited when she passes a booth at the carnival that has prizes, when she gives you a gift she goes to a lot of trouble to make it meaningful
  • Flowers and cards.  When you buy her a card, pick up a second and file away for next time.   Stay ahead, I mean, you're already standing there!
  • Have her create an account on Wishpot, so you can get her what she WANTS.  Don't be extravagant up the wrong tree. Or worse, cheap!
  • Gift certificates to her favorite stores, for a mani/pedi or massage, but a word of caution, this should not be the only gift.  An envelope just seems...light?  Best to accompany with, something of equal or lesser value.  Books, music or hobby items.
  • Jewelry, perfume and handbags are highly personal.  Unless she has picked something out and showed you, best to stick to more generic items.  Unless it's diamonds, you can rarely go wrong with diamonds.
  • Something she's been wanting for the kitchen!  That $200 standing mixer, the Cuisinart Food Processor or coffee pot, the Vita Mix.  I am not talking about an Oster Toaster, OK.
Acts of Service:  (Hint) She complains "Nobody ever does anything around here!", she often gives up housekeeping, laundry and cooking because she is worn out, she is a servant to others (maybe not you anymore, but she USED to serve you), she waits until you can no longer close the garbage before finally taking it out herself...ok, this is my love language.
  • Take her to a B&B (ladies, explain this)
  • Take her anywhere that she does not have to cook or clean up, I recommend NOT taking her to Wendy's because "It just had it's Grand Opening!"
  • Send her to out for the afternoon and hire a housekeeper (this will require some picking up on your part, or let her know this is what you plan to do)
  • Accomplish a "Honey Do"that has been grating her
  • Send her off for the night with a friend
I hope to have a little "gift" in the next week that you can print out for your man with a holiday language guide and guidelines! 

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